St. Augustine Woman's Journal - Educational Resource to the Women of St. Johns County Since 2009

The Nursing Home Scare Tactic


August 1, 2019 | View PDF

She was my 2pm appointment and she was obviously ready to unload! She walked ahead of me to the conference room and sat down in my chair at the head of the table. Knowing better than to challenge her I took the seat normally occupied by my clients and asked her what I could do for her?

“My son is going to put me in a Nursing Home and I don’t want to go!” “He moved in to my double wide after my Husband, (his step-daddy), went on to Glory two years ago.” Now his girlfriend lives there with her two children and I can’t stand her or “them nasty kids.” (I had to smile to myself as she got up a head of steam!).

“He’s forbidden me to smoke in my own house and “God forbid” if I dare take a drink of liquor! I’m 83 years old and I don’t have to mind him! None of them work and I’m the only one who brings home a paycheck, well actually, my social security and my little pension check. They drink day and night and we yell and scream at each other all the time. No wonder those kids are so messed up. Last week he told me that he was going to call the Sheriff and have them pick me up and take me to a “home”. If the law wouldn’t come for me he was going to set me in the bed of his truck in a rocking chair like Granny Clampett on the Beverly Hillbillies and drop me off at the front door of the Nursing Home. CAN HE DO THAT?”

She had finally slowed down enough for me to get a word in and so I just said “NO HE CANNOT!”

“Which part?”, she demanded. I calmly told her that he could call the Sheriff if he wanted but I doubted that the Sheriff would do anything but throw them out if he thought you were suffering elder abuse.

He can’t load you up in his pickup either because no one can just drop you off and force you to check into the Nursing Home! I explained to her that being in a Nursing Home was a medical decision, not yours and certainly not her son’s. The way it usually works is that you have an accident or get sick enough to be hospitalized. When you are on the mend but not well enough to go back home, the hospital discharges you for rehabilitation to a skilled nursing facility. For example, my Mother fell and broke her femur this last fall and spent the holidays in Bayview! It wasn’t her choice and when “they” determined she was okay to go home she was also visited by Occupational and Physical Therapists for followup. She couldn’t stay if she had wanted to, (which she didn’t!).

So all those threats are just bluff and you can tell him, (in the words of Gomer Pyle USMC) to just “run up in an alley and holler FISH!” Whatever that means!

“Well that’s good to know”, she said. “Next time he starts that nonsense about taking me to a home I’ll just snap my fingers in his face and say, YOU JUST TRY!”

“I can do something else for you if you would like”, I told her. When she asked what it was I said, “I can evict your son, his girlfriend and ‘them two nasty kids.’”

She looked at me as if I was Satan himself, “EVICT MY OWN SON, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU BOY!” She left in a huff and slammed the door. I did not send her a bill.

Joe Boles

Joseph L. Boles, Jr. moved to St. Augustine with his parents in 1967. A native of North Carolina, he attended the University of Florida after graduating from St. Augustine High School in 1970. He initially obtained a Bachelor of Design and Advertising Design from the University of Florida, and also obtained his law degree from the University of Florida College of Law. He was admitted to practice in the fall of 1984 and his areas of interest are Elder law, asset protection, estates and trusts. He is married to Jane Reynolds and they have 7 children between them: Hayley, Molly, and Kirby Catherine Boles and Kara, Willie, Emily and Bridey Masson. His office is located on the corner of Riberia and Saragossa Streets in St. Augustine. The office phone number is 904-824-4278.


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